Kate Kelly wrote this to those conducting her disciplinary court: "I want to communicate with perfect candor, as I have always done. As I made clear to President Wheatley when we met on May 5th, I will continue to lead Ordain Women, the group I founded. I will not take down the website ordainwomen.org. I will not stop speaking out publicly on the issue of gender inequality in the church. These things President Wheatley instructed me to do, I cannot do in good conscience. I cannot repent of telling the truth, speaking what is in my heart and asking questions that burn in my soul."
I have a thought. Aside from whether she is right and humble or proud and misled, Kelly is honest. She is acting in accordance with "the dictates of her conscience," to paraphrase Joseph Smith. While there IS a place in this church for honest, earnest, truth-minded and inquiring people who ask questions that do not challenge convention (which is fine--questions don't need to challenge convention to be deep and meaningful), there DOESNT seem to be a place in this church for equally honest, earnest, truth-minded and inquiring people who ask questions that pose a legitimate challenge to the church. Kelly's experience shows that when you treat real feelings that challenge traditional thought AS SERIOUSLY as you treat real feelings that align with traditional thought, you aren't wanted. It is possible to be both openly honest and openly unwelcome in the LDS church.
(In a way this is a surprising realization, because mainstream Mormon narratives have nothing like it: the Book of Mormon, for example, only shows the church opposing dishonest antichrists, not honest (if incessantly vocal and petitioning) believers. So Kelly's excommunication is complicated for me.)
